Parents are responsible for many things, providing their children with food, shelter, clothing and love. But parents are not responsible for their kids’ happiness. In my role as Director of Early Childhood Services, I often see parents who assume this role too. It is time to put that responsibility back where it belongs - with your children.
Fortress movies Phantom Force Allowing children to own their own happiness is easier said then done. It takes practice and self-restraint because:
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Therefore we must understand that:
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- Ordinary unhappiness is simply a fact of life.
- Parents should not become overly alarmed when children experience it.
- The feeling of “unhappiness” belongs to the person who is experiencing it!
We must dispel the following myths:
- Parents are responsible for their children’s happiness
- Children’s ordinary unhappiness leads to depressions or other emotional disorders.
- Children’s disappointments turn into traumatic life experiences.
Once this is practiced, a new set of beliefs will emerge.
Allowing our children to accept responsibility for their own happiness prepares them to handle their inevitable disappointments they will face and better understand that daily distresses are a manageable part of life.
February 27th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Joan- i found your entry incredibly helpful…I have several children of my own, and i oftentimes relate their minor unpleasentries to poor parenting on my end. I do feel your thoughts are true, that children own their own happiness, and I am going to try and remind myself of that concept the next time my children struggle with those feelings or seem let down. Very well illustrated!
February 28th, 2009 at 1:13 am
It is so difficult to see our children unhappy. I too am guilty of constantly trying to fix things for my children. Consequently, they are now teenagers and are unequipped to deal with disappointment. I realize that I am doing them no good and will make an effort to stop rescuing them. Your article makes great sense.