Praising Artwork, Musical Abilities, and Athletic Skills

By: Eileen Anderson-Fye
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Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story Phantom Force trailer Girls drawing on easelThere is often controversy over self-esteem and how to handle praising children’s artwork, musical talents, and athletic ability. Some feel that customary praise may contribute to children developing lower self-esteem, in that it may lead to seeking external (parents, teachers, peers) rather than internal (self) sources for pride. If this happens, when a child does not receive this external praise, they may be disappointed when their work is not validated. This may result in children learning to be more concerned with the end product rather than the process of learning and building accomplishments.
A way of providing encouragement and helping children turn to internal sources of pride is to validate their efforts and take an invested interest in the process of their work. Some examples of praising the process versus outcomes include:

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  • “I love how you used red in that picture!” or “I see that tall straight line in the middle. How did you decide to put it there?” versus “That picture is beautiful!”
  • “Did you have fun?” or “What did you learn?” versus “Did you win?”
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    It is important to point out that there is really no right or wrong way to praise a child for their work. However, being mindful of the language used when conveying your support will help children to focus on what choices they made to improve their experience. Additionally, it shows that you are more interested in their thought process and overall improvement rather than the end result. Emphasizing the importance of trying your best over outcome may also help support them in trying new things without fear of failure.

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