CreativePlay Plus: Ideas in Play and Child Development

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Every parent of a child two or older knows the frustration inherent in trying to give advice to a toddler—they just don’t seem to be paying attention. A new scientific study provides good news, sort of: It’s not that your kid is ignoring you; rather, he’s saving the advice until he thinks it’s the right time to use it…

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So, take heart. Your child is probably listening to you, and, when the situation you’re telling him about occurs, he will probably think of your advice and try to follow it.

Your Toddler Isn’t Ignoring You: He’s Just Saving Your Advice for Later | Geekdad from Wired.com

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When was the last time to took a break and spent some time playing?

And what’s also troubling is that adults are forgetting how to play. It’s just as important for you to join in on the fun alongside your baby or toddler. When they get the chance to play with you, your encouragement helps them to develop self-confidence. They also learn how loved they are, helping them to develop emotional wellness that will benefit them for the rest of their lives. Play can involve lots of different things from making funny noises and laughing with your baby to having a tea party with your toddler. Plus, by engaging in play activities you keep your stress levels down and ensure that you stay mentally healthy, which in turn positively impacts your children…

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More info in the link below PLUS a wonderful picture of a baby and a grandparent laughing and having fun.

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One of the blogs we follow is DivineCaroline.com. Two recent posts there are themes we’ve blogged about that are important to child development—music and reading.

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The Mozart Effect? is about the research and myths around the impact of certain types of music on young children. Time for Bed, Let’s Read!

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has tips on the types of books to read depending on the age of your child.

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Rules create order and discipline in our society. For children, rules help set limits which make learning possible. Effective rules for children must be:

• Definable - specific so the child knows exactly what to do.
• Reasonable - within the child’s physical and mental capabilities.
• Enforceable - have a time limit so you know if it has been accomplished.

When creating rules, it is important to state them positively. An easy way to remember this is by using the words WHEN and THEN.

For Example:

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• WHEN you make your bed, THEN you may have breakfast.
• WHEN you brush your teeth, THEN you may select another video to watch.
• WHEN you finish your homework, THEN you may play outside.

A positively stated rule:

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• Allows the child to choose whether s/he will receive the positive outcome.
• Is consistent, logical and well thought out.
• Occurs unemotionally.
• Puts the responsibility for carrying out the task with the child.

Conversely, a negatively worded command often sounds like a threat. In phrasing a rule, the word “if” usually implies a warning or the absence of something desired.

For example:

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• If you DON’T make your bed, I WON’T prepare your breakfast.
• If you DON’T brush your teeth, you WON’T be able to watch another video.
• If you DON’T do your homework, you WON’T play outside.

A negatively stated rule communicates the following:

• The child experiences someone using power over him/her.
• It can feel arbitrary to the child.
• It can evoke feelings of resentment or anger in the child.

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I recently read an article, Kids Play ‘Tag’ To Learn to Read Just Before Dawn dvd

, about a new electronic device being offered to help children learn to read. This news article, however, was more advertisement than research supported work. It made me wonder if companies should be held accountable for their claims that their products are in some way promoting child development. Or, if we should assume that any product encouraging children to read and practice language will in some way benefit children.

For busy families, it’s enticing to have at every child’s fingertips a computer to substitute at times when a parent is unable to read a book aloud. I personally remember popping in my favorite cassette tape of Sleeping Beauty in first grade during indoor recess and following along in the book. However, one of my fondest memories is sitting on the rug and intensely listening to my first grade teacher read A Wrinkle In Time .

Will the claim that these new electronic gadgets are beneficial to child development lead to less time parents and/or teachers spend reading with children? I hope not! While the research is still out about the effectiveness of these electronic toys, I am assuming that as beneficial as they may be, they are no substitute for the direct one on one time children spend with the adults in their lives learning the joys of reading.

What do you think?

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A pioneer in research on play, Stuart Brown says humor, games, roughhousing, flirtation and fantasy are more than just fun. Plenty of play in childhood makes for happy, smart adults — and keeping it up can make us smarter at any age.

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Within limits of safety and extreme frustration, let children attempt a goal and fail. When they achieve it, it will be more meaningful. Allowing a child to try something until they “get” it or master it builds confidence and the sense that they can persevere until they succeed. Stepping in and controlling fine motor, gross motor, or social activities without giving the child a good chance to practice may imply to the child that he or she is not capable or is failing. It important to evaluate the task beforehand and recognize if this is a challenge they are ready to take on or if it’s too much or too little.

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Parents and adults often jump in to help children when they see they are struggling with a task. For instance, a parent watching their child play soccer may feel the urge to identify the problem in an effort to tell their child why they are not making goals.

“You need to kick the ball harder if you want to make a goal!”
Comments like this may feel to the child that their problems are highlighted while their efforts and skills are ignored. To help your child more accurately get a message, try the “sandwich” technique. Start out with a positive comment, then one constructive criticism, then another positive comment.

“You really focused and kept your eye on the ball. I bet if you practice kicking a little harder, next time you’ll make a goal! You really tried hard today and handled the ball well.”

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The “sandwich” technique acknowledges and builds on positive behaviors and skills. This allows children to experience areas of growth without feeling shamed. It also shows that you are paying attention and not ignoring the behavioral all together. Additionally, it demonstrates to the child that the parent believes that they have the potential to do better.

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