Making Negative Interactions Positive

By: Amy Przeworski and Kelly Christian

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Many times, as parents, we snap at a child without meaning to.  For example, if a child spills a bottle of juice all over the floor, we may say something like “Why didn’t you watch what you were doing?”  Or if a child hits his/her brother, we may say something like “That’s BAD! What’s wrong with you?  You don’t hit your brother!”  These things are often said in frustration however, repeated comments such as this can have a harmful effect on children.

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When kids feel that they are having more negative than positive interactions with parents, they begin to feel that they are bad kids or that they are not good enough.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull full movie This does not mean that parents should not provide their children with constructive feedback or punish a child for unacceptable behaviors, such as hitting one’s brother or cursing at a teacher.  It is important that children learn that unwanted behaviors have consequences.  But, feedback about these behaviors could be provided in a non-critical manner and in a calm tone.  For example, “It is not okay to hit your brother, so you are getting a time-out.”

Seem familiar? We’ve written about this topic before because it is important to us that parents read the necessity for children to have rules for behavior and expected consequences as they develop and mature.  However,  we are aware the difficulties that come with trying to teach appropriate behavior to children and we want to emphasize the importance of how rules for behaving are taught as well as the what rules we give children.

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