When children are scared of something, they often try really hard to avoid it. But avoidance of things makes them seem even scarier. Think back to your own childhood, or witnessing your child at the dentist. Often visits to the dentist occur only a few times a year and if their last visit was frightening or painful they are likely to be a little scared to go back. However, getting out of relatively “painless” visits makes it difficult for children to learn an important lesson, that this time might be different and even if they are anxious, they can handle it.
Parents play a big role in helping children face their fear and telling them it’s okay to feel anxious.
Remind children of things they used to be scared of but aren’t anymore.
• Feeling afraid of the neighbor’s dog and learning he won’t hurt them and is actually fun to play with!
Parents can also show their child that they are afraid of things too, but there are ways they soothe themselves so they can get through it!
• I like to hum a funny song so I don’t feel so scared
• I keep telling myself I’ll be okay!
• We’re doing something new and it will be an exciting adventure!
Children can also be reminded of brave characters in books!
• The Little Engine That Could
a classic book that depicts Tillie, the little train who pulled a heavy load up a hill when no other trains would by saying “I think I can!”
Early experiences with anxiety where children feel good about conquering their fears helps children learn that anxiety is just an emotion, like any other emotion, and that fear is not something that should guide their life.
Check out these previous posts about coping with fears through play and children’s books!
Sociodramatic Play and Coping
Facing Fears through Fantasy
Reading Fairy Tales HouseSitter video
Experience through children books