CreativePlay Plus: Ideas in Play and Child Development

The philosopher, essayist and poet, Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “What you do speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you are saying.”  This has profound meaning for parents since children carefully look for cues regarding adult behavior, paying greater attention to what adults do than to what adults say.  In fact, adult behavior remains one of the most powerful skills parents have in influencing their children.  However, children become easily confused when adults verbally express one value and physically model another. For example:

• We want our children to remain calm and composed in the face of frustration or disappointments but don’t always handle our own frustrations and disappointments well.  What did you look like and sound like the last time you were running late due to an unanticipated traffic jam?
• We encourage our children to use both calm voices and appropriate words when they are upset, but what do our voices and words sound like when we are under duress?  What words and tone did you use when you were accidently rear ended?
• We frequently ask our children to stop crying when they can’t find their favorite toy, but how do we act when we’ve misplaced something that is important to us.  What behaviors did you display when you were frantically looking around the house for your misplaced car keys?

As parents it is important to remember the following:

• The adult behavior we exhibit reflects what we value.

• Desired behavior does not result when we model one action and expect a different one from our child.

• Congruency occurs when children observe parental words that are consistent with their actions.

• How adults express and manage their own feelings serves as a model that is remembered by children throughout their lifetime.

• Children continually learn form adults, regardless if the adults intention is to teach.

• One of the greatest influences parents have on children is the example they set as role models.

Most parents will agree that mathematical skills are big deal.  So what do you do when your child doesn’t seem interested in numbers? Try this clever number match game from mommy blogger Allison at No Time For Flash Cards.  What we like about this game is that you can adjust it to be more or less challenging for kids depending on their development level.  The best part is you only need colored construction paper and a marker to get your math magicians learning!

The social and cognitive benefits of recess and free play are too important to be ignored. During recess children learn valuable social skills like learning to negotiate with peers in order to keep playing with them.

“I want to play on the monkey bars too.  How about we take turns?”

“You got to choose 4-square yesterday, today let’s play tag, okay?”

“Come play with us! We need more people to play kickball! It will be fun!”

Recess also gives children opportunities to become comfortable with deciding how they want to spend their free time and who they want to spend their time with.

The argument that physical education is a good substitute for recess is not adequately supported. The instructional nature and highly structured time found in physical education classes does not allow children the same sort of free time to explore, be creative, or control how they spend their time with peers, on their terms. Physical education also does not give them the time to practice sophisticated ways to compromise and resolve conflicts.

Dr. Anthony Pelligrini has studied important questions like, does what children do on the playground predict school achievement? In fact, Dr. Pelligrini found that the behavioral measures he developed to observe children at recess actually predicted first grade achievement better than kindergarten test scores.  Meaning, playground behaviors should be considered an important part of child development that could determine academic success of children early on in child education.

How do you feel about the amount of free-play time your children gets at school? Do you agree that play could potentially promote academic success?

Dr. Anthony Pelligrini is a notable scholar of recess and the education system. According to him, recess is disappearing because school administrators are more concerned with increasing instructional time and claim that recess promotes bullying and aggressive behaviors.

The argument that recess is not as developmentally important as instructional time is not well founded. We know from extensive research, that children who are asked to perform a school task are significantly more attentive after recess than when they are deprived of a break. (See our previous posts, A breath of fresh air and More than just a walk in the park)

Moreover, the argument that recess promotes negative interactions between children is also not supported. In a cross-cultural study, conducted by Pelligrini, they found that less than 2% of behaviors observed on playgrounds are physically or verbally aggressive. Additionally, with adequate adult supervision, this rate becomes even lower. We also know that children who are bullied are also bullied at lunch, on buses, in bathrooms, just about anywhere where children are not well monitored by adults. In actuality, lack of adult supervision may more likely be the culprit in creating opportunities for children to be aggressive.

How much time does your school district allot for recess or free play periods? Are your children monitored well during recess? What do you think of this argument? Do you think children are bullied more on the playground than any other setting at school?

School age kids are all about getting things done. The famous psychologist, Erik Erikson, wrote (famously) that the core of development at this age is the crisis of “industry versus inferiority.”  In other words, children need to feel capable and competent. They need to make things, know things, and master skills. You can plug into this powerful drive when picking out the perfect presents for the kids on your list.

Projects: Children love to have special projects they can create on their own.  For younger children, look for kits that come with instructions. Older and more experienced creators need higher quality materials, and the freedom to follow their creative urges.

• Think about supplies for painting, drawing, candle-making, woodworking, macramé, knitting, assembling electronics, flower arranging, photography, and similar ventures.

Tools for science: Children with a natural curiosity about the world may enjoy a gift that helps them explore and learn about science. For that matter, it’s hard to imagine a child who wouldn’t be curious about nature, given a proper invitation. By invitation, I mean an adult who gets excited about natural things, and gives a child an opportunity to take an interest and learn about the natural world.

• Consider if your child may like a microscope and slides, a telescope, a star map, a gyroscope, binoculars for birding, a starter rock collection, a pick for digging up fossils (or just interesting junk), or a butterfly net.

Lessons: You might have bitter memories of lessons that were forced upon you. But if a child shows urges in an artistic direction, lesions can be joyful and meaningful.

• A child whose feet move with the beat might love dance lessons.

• A child who is always humming tunes may blossom with singing lessons or with a musical instrument.

• The key –and where you have to be a little lucky – is matching the child’s interest with a great teacher.
  • A great teacher doesn’t have to be the best dancer or singer or actor, but he or she does need to have a love for the subject, and a love for children and for helping them grow.

Sports and Athletics: Many children express their drive for growth and accomplishment through sports and athletics. If they’re already into a particular sport, it’s no trick to find new, better equipment for them. If they are not sporty, they might still enjoy an introduction to a new non-competitive activity.

• For the last few months I’ve been giving out 3-lb weights to patients of mine who need an extra nudge to get moving. I tell them they’re for “TV exercises” –a pleasant way to keep moving, build muscles, while mentally vegging out. The kids always seem excited.

You’ll notice that I’m not advocating out and out asking children what they want, but instead making educated guesses based on what you know about their interests and leanings.

If you do ask, most of the boys (and many of the girls) will say that they want the newest video game console or handheld player. I know this, because I’ve asked. And sure, video games aren’t entirely passive, and they do teach children things (some good things and some bad), and they do feed a child’s hunger for competence. But most relate only to a virtual world, drawing a child away from the real one. Things in everyday life become dull and boring, because they can’t compete with the non-stop action (complete with catchy theme music) in the virtual reality. Anyhow, there’s a good chance that some less original Santa will tie a boy around an electronic whiz-box. Let them. You can do better, developmentally speaking.

Dr. Kessler recommends books by Judith Viorst, PhD who has written a number of wonderful books for children that talk about common experiences children deal with like having a bad day or feel neglected. One of Dr. Viorst’s most popular books Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

• Hot Shots! movies Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl dvdrip

Fly Away Home movie

Judgment Night video and her recent story Nobody Here But Me
Simply Irresistible movie full

Rendition film

The Ballad of Josie trailer

Phantom Force hd

• 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer

illustrates how other children handle their distress when having a crummy day. These books are a great way for parents and their children to talk about what it is like to feel ignored or when things seem like they’re just not going your way. Reading these books together helps children feel very grown up. They learn they are not alone in how they feel and that grown-ups can feel that way too! Reading books together that explore shared experiences also opens up communication between children and parents. It allows children to come up with new ways to handle distressing emotions, like telling their parent or teacher when they feel bad.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three movie download

Washington Heights move

Shattered movie

• The Dog Problem movie

Children of Men video Modesty Blaise buy

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl dvd

The War of the Roses buy

Young school-aged children often want to read on their own and strive to read chapter books. However, there is a dilemma. Dr. Kessler spoke with us about how it is often the case that a child’s reading level is not necessarily at their interest level. Therefore, Dr. Kessler urges parents to continue to make time to read aloud with children.

For young children just beginning to read on their own, Dr. Kessler recommends the Dog and Bear Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior movie

• The Happening ipod

The Cheyenne Social Club release

A Perfect Day rip series by Laura Vaccaro Seeger. The Dog and Bear series offer humorous stories about two good friends who don’t agree on everything. These books are great for readers in between reading aloud together and reading alone and are arranged as a chapter book, which children enjoy and feel a sense of accomplishment after reading.

Together Again for the First Time divx

Origin: Spirits of the Past psp

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones video

• 25th Hour trailer The Grudge 2 full movie

Remember what it was like as a child. Reading your first chapter book can feel like quite an accomplishment. Dr. Kessler encourages parents who ask her for advice in picking out books for their child to pick a book that they can eventually read on their own. When children reach between five and seven-years-old, it is important to offer books that are within their grasp and they can read on their own after reading it once or twice with a grown-up.

The Sentinel release

• Final Exam move
  The Little Polar Bear film

Miracle at St. Anna download The Polar Express release The Hairy Tooth Fairy 2 the movie

The Dog Problem psp

• Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation film

The Shining movie download

Also, it’s important to keep in mind when reading to young school-aged children, that books tend to become more gender specific around the first grade reading level. Additionally, children begin to divide in their interests for books. Boys tend to enjoy nonfiction books about things and how things work, preferring to read books about trucks, construction equipment, animals, and insects. Girls tend to prefer fiction books earlier than most boys. As a result, girls tend to have a lot more options for fiction book series at this early age. Dr. Kessler recommends the Judy Moody book series for young children, however, they tend to be geared toward girls.

While finding new books to read with your child, some things to consider are whether the book is within your child’s ability to read on his or her own and if it will hold their interest. These factors may help your child feel more confident in their reading abilities and perhaps foster enjoyment in reading early on.