CreativePlay Plus: Ideas in Play and Child Development

Playday is an annual event in the UK that celebrates children’s right to play. On Playday thousands of children and communities will take part in locally organized events across the UK.  While this is a great opportunity for children to get out and play, the Playday campaign raises awareness about serious issues affecting children’s play. For instance, creative play is essential for physical and emotional growth, mental, intellectual and educational development, and for acquiring social and behavioral skills.

Learn more about Playday in the UK.

I know this isn’t an original thought, but it recently occurred to me that children at play and scientists at work have a lot in common.  Both seem to start with the same question, What if?  What if I put this big block on top of this little one?  What if I’m the mommy and you’re the baby?  What if I drop a heavy ball and a light ball? Which one hits the ground first?

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• The baby seems fussier than usual.  What if you try dancing to Roy Orbison while holding her over your shoulder?  How about Madonna?

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What If also drives art. In fact, very little that is new comes into existence without a What If first.

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• Impressionism was largely an answer to the question, “What if you paint the feeling of things, instead of their surfaces?”
• Mozart asked, “What if I play it softer; louder; faster; fancier; slower; in ¾ time?” And there you have it: theme and variations.

For What If to work its magic, the player-solver-artist needs a space, some objects, tools to work on them, and most important the assurance that not too much can go wrong.

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I don’t think you need to teach your child to play.  But you can set an example by taking a playful approach to life.

• What if you turn left, instead of right the way you normally go? What if you take the contents of your junk drawer and make something? What if you put a carrot top in a bowl of grape juice? Will it sprout? Will you get a blue carrot?

Being a playful parent yourself may help your child feel comfortable wondering What If and feel secure exploring their growing curiosities.

ZenHabits.net lets us in on some tips for raising happy children. Here are a few to whet your appetite. The others are available by clicking the link below:

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Communicating criticism to children can sometimes be subtle.

• Sighing when a child does something that you do not approve of
• Making offhand remarks made to others that the child may overhear “Your brother just doesn’t know any better”
• Indicating that the child should be perfect “Next time we’ll practice more so you won’t make any mistakes in your piano recital.”

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While parents and teachers in these situations are probably trying to help a child cope when things aren’t going their way, they may be unknowingly communicating their own our frustrations.

Rather than automatically reacting to unwanted behaviors with negative feedback it’s important to be mindful that we catch children being good and sandwich constructive feedback with rewards for positive behavior. Even if a child is misbehaving there are often opportunities to catch your child being good.
• For example, if your child is screaming at his sister and you ask him to sit down and be quiet, when he does so, you have an opportunity to reward for the positive behavior of listening and doing what you asked while also providing criticism about the negative behavior.
o “I like how you just listened! Good job listening. But screaming at your sister is not okay.”

Make a list of all of the negative and positive things that you have said to your child today and see whether there are more negatives or more positives.

For more information, here are some previous posts with similar information about providing constructive and positive feedback in the face of what could be a frustrating situation:

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Praising Art, Athletic, and Musical Abilities

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One of the most challenging tasks of parenting is preparing our children for success. Our ever-changing, technologically sophisticated society further complicates this issue. Some parents expose their children to a variety of early learning and enrichment opportunities, hoping to provide an edge in a competitive marketplace. While these programs have merit, we must also teach our children self-reliance, compassion and ethics.

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Conventional schooling helps children increase their knowledge base and acquire valuable skills. However, this alone is not enough. In this time of economic uncertainty, the most enduring gift we can give our children are tools that will help them develop strong character. Parents must focus less on what their children will become and more on who they will become. To prepare our children for success both now and in the future we must encourage them in the following ways:

• Help them maintain high standards of personal conduct
• Support relationships where they treat others with dignity and respect
• Foster their pursuit of lifelong learning
• Provide them with opportunities to delay gratification
• Help them develop empathy so they are better able to understand others feelings
• Become attentive listeners so they can focus on what others are saying
• Handle adversity
• Choose a positive attitude

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Additionally, when we spend time with our children they feel valuable and worthy. Our unconditional love for our children is the foundation upon which their characters are built. As parents, we must do more then make our children feel good, we must help our children become competent, resourceful and good people. This will prepare them for both the challenges and opportunities ahead.

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Children often ask compelling questions that reflect their natural interest and curiosity about the world around them. However, sometimes the answers they receive are not what they are looking for.

Do either one of the following scenarios sound familiar?

“But mommy, why do I have to go the bed now? Why can’t I stay up later?”

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“Mommy, why do I have to leave Amy’s house? We’re not done playing?”

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As reasonable parents, we respond to these questions with thoughtful and rational explanations. In the first scenario, we might explain why the body needs ample sleep and the busy day that awaits our child. In the second scenario, we might respond factually with the actual amount of time already spent at Amy’s house and our need to be home to prepare dinner for the family.

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For example, in the first scenario you might say, “You’d like to be staying up later and I know how hard it is to get ready for bed when there’s another show you want to watch on TV.” In the second scenario you might say, “You’d like to continue playing with Amy and I know how hard it is to leave when you are having so much fun.”

While empathy alone might not stop your child’s protests, it often reduces the intensity while sending a clear message that you that you truly understand how s/he feels.

• Empathy helps children accept and process their own feelings.
• Empathy enables parents to affirm their child’s feelings, even when parents don’t share the same feelings.
• Empathy allows children to feel both heard and understood.

The next time your child asks a question, think before you respond. Is your child seeking new information or is s/he in need of an empathetic response?

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OneKindWord teaches people who work at public places such as stores, parks, museums, schools and zoos how to help parents when their child throws a temper tantrum in public or when they are stressed and overwhelmed with parenting duties.

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Read more of the Post Gazzette article Sometimes, one kind word can help a stressed parent

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